Recently I played golf on a day so windy that it made conditions challenging. On the holes where I had a tailwind, I enjoyed longer than usual drives and pretty good scores by my beginning golfer standard. (Do I still get to be a beginner after five years?) Of course, it was a completely different story on the holes where I faced a headwind. In those situations, I addressed the ball and gave it my best shot. I watched my drive start on a good trajectory, run into the wind, and just drop as if it had hit a wall. It was discouraging to feel like I was doing as well as I could, but couldn’t overcome the obstacle. Afterward, I reflected on how much this round of golf parallels the student experience and life in general.

Sometimes our students enjoy a tailwind. They are well rested, getting along with their families and friends, have a natural aptitude for the material, and have had time to prepare. On those days, they are on top of the world. Other days, they have to cope with a headwind. The particular math unit is hard for them, or they did not enjoy the book study. Maybe they were late to school because they got in the car only to realize that they had two identical right shoes and no left shoe. Maybe they did not have time to prepare. They are doing the best they can, but their best is not enough to clear the hurdles they face. As adults, we understand that there are days, and sometimes even seasons, like this. While we do not enjoy these times, there are valuable lessons to be learned in the acts of trying, failing, and persevering.

First, students can cultivate a growth mindset: People with a growth mindset do not tell themselves that they can’t do a certain thing, only that they couldn’t do it today. The self-talk is not that I am bad at math, but rather that I need to practice multiplication facts more. When adults help students see their failures as opportunities to refocus their efforts, then we are helping them cultivate a growth mindset. We are also focusing on behaviors and outcomes rather than character traits or innate ability. There is a huge difference between “I failed the math test.” and “I’m a failure.” We can affirm students’ identity while encouraging them to improve their performance.

We can also help students to be realistic: Most people are not good at everything they do. For example, I was an excellent student. I am at best a mediocre athlete. However, I enjoy being active and participating in sports. Allowing students the space to do things that they enjoy, even in areas in which they do not excel, teaches them that they do not have to be good at everything. In this time when students feel compelled to be perfect because they believe that is what their schools, their colleges of choice, or even their parents demand, we need to recalibrate our expectations to reflect the reality of our humanity.

As Holy Week ends and we look toward Easter, I am reminded of the humanity and divinity of Jesus and how he took on humanity so that he could experience the divine through Him. May this weekend be a time of joy for you and your families.