"No word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause." – Mark Twain
Mark Twain’s words are a good reminder for all of us—especially parents and teachers. In a world that moves fast, where conversations often overlap and silence feels uncomfortable, intentionally pausing can feel unnatural. But giving children time to think, process, and respond is one of the most valuable gifts we can offer.
Think about Blue’s Clues. Steve Burns, the original host, once shared how the show’s success was built around the power of the pause. He would ask a question and then wait—long enough for the youngest viewers to think and respond, but short enough to keep older children engaged. The pauses weren’t accidental; they were purposeful. They gave children space to process, make connections, and feel like active participants rather than just passive listeners.
As parents and educators, we often move too quickly. We ask a question, and before our children even have a chance to form an answer, we jump in—with another question, a reworded prompt, or (I’m guilty of this one!) just answering for them. But when we rush ahead, we unintentionally send the message that their thoughts aren’t worth waiting for.
Pausing sends a powerful message:
Angela Santomero, the creator of Blue’s Clues and Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, reminds us that children need more time to process than we think. They need time to understand the question, think about their answer, and find the words to say it. If we jump in too quickly, we interrupt that process.
Research shows that children who are given time to think give deeper, more thoughtful responses. When we pause—really pause—we allow children to connect ideas, build confidence, and develop their communication skills.
Of course, slowing down isn’t always easy. But here’s a simple trick that helps: MI-SS-ISS-IP-PI.
After asking a question, silently count Mississippi four times before saying anything else. It may feel long at first, but you might be surprised at how often your child fills in the silence when given the chance.
The next time you ask your child a question, try it. Pause. Wait. See what happens.
It is a small shift, but it makes a big difference.
Pause and think about that.
Best,
Megan Irwin
Head of Preschool