Middle School Parents,

As many of us have experienced, having access to cell phones often introduces a challenging phase where children may send unkind messages. It’s much easier for them to be hurtful behind a screen than face-to-face. In group chats, these comments can reach a larger audience, amplifying the hurt they can cause. We have seen this firsthand, working with several students who have been deeply affected by shared messages and/or social media posts.

What’s particularly heartbreaking is that students are also using these chats to process their fears about safety, including school shootings. We know it’s a heavy, extremely sad, and unfortunate reality for our kids to navigate. While it’s important they have space to share their feelings, these chats and social media postings are becoming unhealthy and causing a lot of additional stress and anxiety. 

We want to stress the importance of stopping these behaviors and reminding them about the safety measures we have in place at Trinity School. We encouraged them to speak up and share any messages that suggest someone may be a threat to themselves or others. 

This is where we would love your help. Please talk with your children. Help them understand what is appropriate in text messaging or social media posting. Discuss ways to handle conflicts with friends. Be open and honest about how to manage their worries about school shootings or their safety in general. We also encourage you to monitor their text messages and social media posts. Being transparent with your child about your responsibility to keep them safe and accountable will encourage better decision-making. Knowing that adults regularly screen their phones helps children make better decisions about their messages. Be realistic about what you will read. You will likely be appalled at spelling, grammar, language, and some of the content. Give your children appropriate space to experiment with harmless aspects of peer communication (Would you have wanted your parents to hear everything you said to your friends?!), and focus any follow-up conversations on addressing anything harmful or unsafe.

We have included some resources below to help guide these conversations at home. Thank you for being such an essential part of this journey in building your child’s character, intellect, and ability to positively impact Trinity School and the world around them. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to reach out.

Gratefully,

Chrystal Myers

National Association of School Psychologists: Talking with children about school violence:

National Child Traumatic Stress Network: 

Together Against Bullying: Family Texting Guidelines:

NCMEC NetSmartz:

Connect Safely: Cellphone Safety Tips:

Reconnect Blog: Group Chat Do’s and Dont’s

While not an “official” source, this blog provides good information specifically on group chats.